LIFE AND LIVING

kech at the beach

A week ago, I was feeling really burned out, stressed out and a little sick so I decided to take a day off work to recuperate, (well my boyfriend actually forced me to).

So that sunny Wednesday, I took my self to the beach. It is one place that I feel really at peace. Watching the waves and listening to it’s soothing sound as it crashes at the beach makes me feel really calm and my mind so so clear.

And these thoughts kept going through my head

If being successful isn’t all there is to life

If owning everything you ever dreamed of isn’t all there is to life

If having your best body ever and being your healthiest isn’t all there is to life

If loving and being loved isn’t all there is to life.

 

What is then?

What is of the highest good?

What more is there to life?

 

Is it helping those in need?

Is it contributing to humanity?

Is it being influential?

Is it what happens or where we end up after our life here on earth?

Tell me my friend what more is there to life?

What more is there this life?

– JULY 8TH, 2015,

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A note to self: The power of more

If you have tried to complete an application before, you would understand my feeling this morning as I tried to answer an essay question needed to complete an application I’ve been on for weeks. I finally got down to it because my boyfriend has taken it upon himself to give me a deadline and not let me rest until I get the essay written and the application submitted.

When I got to this question

“Tell us about yourself, and in doing so, describe the specific values, experiences and accomplishments that have shaped who you are and led you to pursue a career in public service.” (Maximum 500 words)

I started taking a log of all that I have done and achieved to enable me answer the question appropriately. Then I wondered “why do they need me to talk about my achievements? Why do they need that to offer me an admission? Why do I need to have achieved anything or had any experiences before being considered for an admission to learn?

Then it struck me

*THE PARABLE OF THE TALENTS(Matthew 25:14-30) ,Jesus after telling this parable to his disciples said ”For to everyone who has will be given, and he will have an abundance But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away”

That is how our world works: The more wealthy you become the more people are willing to  give to you. Success attracts more success. This is why the best students with the highest grades get the scholarships. This is why the candidate with the most experience for the role gets the job even in entry Job interviews.

Lessons learnt

It is not enough to have great burning desires, whether it’s career development, more streams of Income, or to become a philanthropist, until you get up, and actually do something, no matter how little, but consistently. You might never arrive at your desired goal.

This reminds me of the Shamger principle, taken from the story in the bible of a judge who used an ox-goad to kill 600 philistines and saved his people.

So the principle is this – Use what you have where you are with what you have to achieve the desired result.

Do not be afraid to take that step.

You won’t achieve your big picture in future. There is no day called the future, all you have is today, now and this moment.

It is those little actions you take today that would add up like a puzzle to that big picture. Even God himself values small moments (Psalm 139:16) “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

The first time I read this scripture I was bothered because God didn’t give me the book in which he wrote down everything I am meant to be doing per moment. So how am I supposed to know? If you’re thinking that right now think no further,according to 1 corinthians 2:9 “but just as it is written,
“THINGS WHICH EYE HAS NOT SEEN AND EAR HAS NOT HEARD,
AND which HAVE NOT ENTERED THE HEART OF MAN,
ALL THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.”

10For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. 11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. 12Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, 13which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.”

Those Ideas you have, those urges you have, that is God revealing to you what he has written down in his book. When opportunities come,it is those little things you’ve done that would qualify you for them.

Dear Self,

It’s time to get serious. Quit waiting for the right moment to take that step. Eliminate those excuses. Burn the bridges!

Do more. Read more. Achieve more. Know more. Love more. Listen more.

Lots of Love

me

 

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Recent Haul – Make Up

This is my usual look to work and everywhere. My friends have given up on me and my no makeup looks. I never thought I was missing anything or doing anything wrong or right by not wearing any makeup but suddenly, I started yearning for more. I feel more feminine and pretty. So on this day, I decided to go buy me some make up.

IMG_20141206_190918

THE NORM

I chose the INGLOT store at THE PALMS Mall in Lekki ( You should check them out if you haven’t) . I’ve passed by this store several times in the past and haven’t felt any need to go in but on this day it seemed to posses a certain kind of pull. So I went in and was greeted by this pleasant lady who asked what I wanted and assisted me in finding what I liked. I tried out several shades of lipsticks and this beautiful red was one of my favourite.

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THE TRY OUT

Finally I settled for this colour which I think is really cool and you might say is too bold for a beginner 🙂

My pick

MY PICK

Inglot 293

I also bought this Lipgloss that I really like and the loose powder for a startinglot-cosmetics-sleeks-cream-lip-paint-104hd_loose_powder_45_kopiaPlease leave your suggestions on what else to try down below. Your comments mean a lot to me.

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tick-tock

Tick tock tick tock

Its 394hrs to the end of 2014 and I’m just wondering. Is it possible to do a crash achievement of the goals we set at the beginning of this year?

This reminds me of exam periods in school. A night before an exam. students would do the TDB ( till day break ) as we call it in OAU – read from around 10am till 8am or when ever the exam is to start. They would go straight into the exam hall from where ever they spent the night reading without brushing their mouth or having a bath. I tried this once in my year 2. We were to write this Linguistic exam and the lecturer who had just come back from Germany was really hard on us all through the semester. We had about 40pages of linguistic jargon with theories and rules and names to get into our heads before the exam. The highest score for the continuous assessment was 5/40 and I had scored 2.5/40. Everyone was tensed. So we all converged at the foreign languages department reading room that night to crash the notes. Normally I sleep at 10pm and wake up at 5:00am and I have trained myself to do this over the years but this time I was determined to jack with my classmates till the next morning. Of course you can guess what happened. I spent the whole night sleeping and couldn’t keep my eyes open to read anything. So I told myself ‘that’s it! Never again am i crashing any course again.’

As the year comes to an end and I look through my journal where I had mapped out all my plans for 2014; skills to learn, articles to write, books to read etc I begin to think that it’s actually possible to crash achieve the ones I haven’t attempted especially after I saw this post by Patricia Bright ( she Inspires me a whole lot )

mtw8Bip

She wrote ”In the end, we only regret the chances we did’t take.’ Before the end of the year why not take a few more? #goodmorning”

I hope this Inspires you like it did me. Review your goals and make a concrete plan to achieve a bit more of it before the year runs out.

Shalom

*’Jack’ is a Nigerian slang that means ‘to study’

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ON DATING A WRITER

DATING A WRITER

My boyfriend is a writer, Yes! a terrific one. He’s gotten several recognitions through his writing. As a matter of fact, he ditched Law and all the LLB, LLM, etc. to get a masters in fine arts. As a visual Arts student, he’s spent every minute reading and writing. He owns enough books to start a grand library and he read most of these books in the past one and half years.

Needless to say, he is extremely good at what he does and I’m very proud of him. I enjoy reading his writings, which pleases him. But here is the thing, he wants me to edit his work too. He would send me an email and say something like this;

Hi darling,

Here’s something I wrote. Let me know your thoughts – please check for typos.

I usually feel good about being the first to read what he writes. I thoroughly enjoy myself while reading his essays but I don’t find any errors or typos, even when he assures me that I would find some. Now even when I read something misspelt or grammatically wrong, I sincerely feel he deliberately wrote it that way or perhaps a new invention in the English language (especially because I think he is a genius)

I have written all this to say this to him

Dear I.

When you write, please find an editor. I enjoy reading your writings but please stop giving me the herculean task of finding errors with your work. Of course, I would always give my input and suggestions generally but not on your writing directly.

To me you’re Shakespeare and a genius, a word and English Knight. I would never be able to find anything wrong with your writing. Therefore I ask that you save me from this dilemma and allow me delight myself in your work without going through the stress of finding errors.

Yours sincerely

N.

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THE PROPHET IN US ALL

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.

Tony Robbins

Getting into a new environment, which is different from the one in which we’ve been nurtured, can cause us to change. This change can be negative – We begin to lose focus, we seem to forget every thing we’ve learnt and we begin to forgo our values, disciplines, and the principles in which we once thrived.

In this new place we have found ourselves we might do things that we never imagined we would in our widest and wildest imaginations. We hurt ourselves and we hurt the people who love us. The truth is, these things don’t just happen. We don’t wake up one cloudy morning and be magically different – depressed, moody, lacking self-control and every other negative you can think of. We do not suddenly become that way; like success, failure is also a process. There were actions or inactions that lead to losing the values that have kept us and molded us into the peaceful, disciplined, energetic, purposeful people we were. The change is usually so gradual and so subtle that we don’t even notice them. It’s like losing weight and gaining it back. One little bite of that yummy cake here, one slice of white bread there, then, a whole bottle of soda and slowly the weight, which we worked so hard to keep off creeps back in. You get on the scale one morning and you are shocked at the numbers staring you hard in the face – you have gained back every single weight that you lost.

Dondi Scumaci explains how we get to that awful point and the PROCESS that leads to it in her book, READY, SET… GO. The process is like a root bound plant, which has run out of room to grow, like the life-giving root system that becomes so confined and twisted that it cannot bring nutrients to the vine. The same can happen to our roots, which are the beliefs that bind us to our current condition and shape our future.[1]

This process begins with our beliefs, might be the new beliefs we’ve acquired from our new environment, which gradually begin to get us twisted. Our beliefs are like roots, for us to flourish we must ensure that they do not conform to self-limiting, discouraging beliefs. We must ensure that our roots run deep in the right kind of soil and that they are fed with nourishing nutrients that would ensure they stay healthy.

I understand exactly how this happens because I’ve been there myself, hence the need to help someone who is where I was or in the process of getting there.

Designed by Kech

Designed by Kech

These beliefs can be about others, our future, life situations, events and ourselves. The problem is that these beliefs actually become our reality. It forms thoughts, the thoughts form words; the words form behavior, the behavior results.

Brain Tracy calls this ‘The law of belief’ It states that what ever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality.[2]

If you believe something about yourself, others, your past, or the future that are simply not true, they somehow become your realities, you would see them happen.

In the Social Psychology course I took from the Wesleyan University on Coursera, Professor Plous Scott explains that this is called ‘Self fulfilling Prophecy’.

This has nothing to do with religion; it’s just how the universe works. You would always, consciously or unconsciously move in the direction of your beliefs.

There is a Prophet in us all predicting the future.

So what do you do when you find yourself in a mess? When you climb on that scale and see that you’ve gained back all the weight you lost. Do you make excuses and say ‘oh I gain weight fast and lose weight fast’… or do you sit down, re–evaluate and find out how and why you got there and make amends?

When I found myself in the mess, I made the choice to take back my life at all cost and make a turn in the right direction.

In my next article, I would be sharing a few things I did to clear and take back my ground.

Please leave your comments and questions down below and feel free to share.

In the Social Psychology course I took from the Wesleyan University on Coursera, Professor Plous Scott explains that this is called ‘Self fulfilling Prophecy’.

This has nothing to do with religion; it’s just how the universe works. You would always, consciously or unconsciously move in the direction of your beliefs.

There is a Prophet in us all predicting the future.

So what do you do when you find yourself in a mess? When you climb on that scale and see that you’ve gained back all the weight you lost. Do you make excuses and say ‘oh I gain weight fast and lose weight fast’… or do you sit down, re–evaluate and find out how and why you got there and make amends?

When I found myself in the mess, I made the choice to take back my life at all cost and make a turn in the right direction.

In my next article, I would be sharing a few things I did to clear and take back my ground.

Please leave your comments and questions down below and feel free to share.

[1] Dondi Scumaci, Ready, Set… Go: How to Rediscover your Passion, Overcome Your Fears, and Create the Life you’ve always wanted (Lake Mary, FL: Excel Books, 2009)

[2] Brian Tracy, The Psychology of Achievement, Audiobook (Niles, IL: Nightingale, 2000)

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